Everyone after high school tries to find themselves. They are told certain careers they should look into certain school, who to date, how to date, yet no one stops to think that not any single one of us is unique. We have our names our looks our personalities but they are all lists that have been pre-made. An emotion is a word from a list that everyone feels. Things are names that we call them by and statuses all in a name. If you have “fill in blank brand” you are “fill in blank of social status” . You like to read “oh you’re a nerd or a geek ” and over the years through words and lists those words are considered “in” or “hipster ” .
It’s actually quite entertaining when people say oh I’m special. You’re wearing clothes that 2 million other people wear you drive a car that’s made for everyone, you speak words that you didn’t even create. It’s all pretty funny.
These lists are how we build a society on. It first starts with a pink or blue blanket when you’re born and you are attached to a symbol not even a name yet. This list of even colors pertain to your life and are stuck in that column. Oh your race/ethnicity there I’d another list. Everything is a list and it’s your job to chose carefully. Be aware of the words you say, things you buy and wear, what you drive, and ect. Most importantly be aware of who you are associated with ans what that makes of you. A list is still a list but you have the choice to be apart of a better one. Things that make you are break you are 1. What you say
2.whar you think
3. Who you associate with.
Reason being is what you say are seeds and taken account of by everyone. Chose carefully from the list you know and what you think will guide you’re life. Last but not lease who you associate with is huge. If you’re with someone who is fine with where you are right now they are parasites. True “friends” aren’t ok with where you are now, they want to get you to where you need to be an accelerated path because they where your capacity can push you. People who also you should be around are up lifting and are equally yoked in thought and morals because those who don’t think the same can’t move past where they stand.
Life is a bunch of stories linked together by people and those who hold them. God is in mine and helps me through a lot along with those who he brings in. I am brought up on a list of morals and have never regretted that. A word of caution as well those who surround you thay may be blood could also be toxic to you and your life. So even though certain people may be “family” it doesn’t mean they are good for you. Just be aware of those lists and which ones you’re a part of.
Power of words
The power of words. Has any one ever asked you “what’s more dangerous: a thought or a gun” well spoiler alert a thought it. The most powerful thing in this world is a thought. When verbalized a thought can be hurtful, helpful, mean the world to someone or destroy them. When people constantly think they are helpless or the victim they will constantly victimize themselves to others. Pathetic. The world is constantly unfolding and to take account of what everyone says all the time is toxic. I’m not here saying be you don’t care about what others think because that’s a bunch of bunk. People care about the integrity of a person and character behind closed doors. When people fabricate their lives or others to make themselves the victim or to achieve sympathy it’s sad.
Let go of the past move on and don’t bring the past with you. The past doesn’t destroy your future the thoughts that’s you bring with you do. Battles are fought and won in the blueprints of your mind. Think and speak positive and it will come to you. Speak fear, hate and self pitty and forever be stuck in a sad place.
Being positive and setting right the past is helpful as well. Those who ask forgiveness and don’t get it from That person they asked from, we’ll fell sorry for thay person because they will be haunted by the past because of their self anguish. It’s a sat thought really. Forgiveness, love, and faith is what helps a heart grow and a person to be happy and healthy.
People can be such sad individuals and to feel sorry for people that constantly deem themselves as helpless is a waste of breath. So many fight daily to overcome socio-economic mountains and others take for granted where they are. Help doesn’t mean to give pride up help builds character and to help from failing. Those who offer take it it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person. So I know that was a tangent but back to words the power of hearing someone say do you need help and the answer “yes” is a lot. Yes is such a powerful word. The definition of positive movement. Yes push forward in your life! Offer help to those around you even in times of need for yourself it may help you to be selfless. Too many people today forget that others have lives and problems of their own. Everyone gets up does their own schedule/routine (routine is good) but then get lost they get in a car or throw ear buds in and tune the world out. They stare at thay 4-6 inch screen instead of 4 inches up to see the world around them. Humanity is going down the drain fast. Spread some kind words around start thinking positive and maybe do one selfless act a day for 30 days straight. Your heart will feel lighter. When you wake up say three positive things to your self in the mirror. You will feel a difference in a week. Next time you’re in the drive through any where pay for the person behind you. Thanks for your time.
Reuninted
Infinitive connections will forever fill our world. People with good hearts will surround themselves with like people. Or that’s how it should be. When dark, twisted, tainted people get a hold and manipulate those with good hearts it’s hard not to lose oneself. The more difficult part is purging of that poison that has consumed you for years. Draining of energy, love, emotion, and stress, but with the help of people that have known you before the shadow was cast on your life is a huge blessing. Reconnecting with people from a prior life (and I don’t mean an afterlife or any other shakra stuff) I mean prior to the life you allowed to be run by heartless individuals. Just a few comforting words like I’ve always been here for you and you never deserved what happened may come out or you’ve been and idiot and it was was inevitable that pain was coming. Either way seeing people flourish in a life free of poison and uniting yourself with them in your new Ventures is all that matters.
Some people in this world are absolutely trashy. I’m not getting into details even though I would love to but that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here for positive moments that set the momentum for my adventures and path. I am not a new me because I’ve always loved who I am as a person but I am a new version of myself. I am strong and beautiful and confident and I know my worth as a human. I will not allow any one to have control over me or hold things over my head. I am who I associate with and it’s positive, loving, supporting people. These new facets have changed me and my very close friend from strangers to ourselves to thriving happier individuals.
No one should feel like they are trapped in their own body or embodied someone else because of another individual. I was stuck in something for 5 years haha it was all a lie. Funny how two bad moments can bring so many Good people back into my life. This new branch off this road has been so smooth it’s unbelievable.
Also on a total side note it’s raining by my house and I cannot explain in any great or small Matter how much I absolutely love rain! I get a rush of writing creativity and energy from the rain. Some say it’s Draining and gloomy, oh contrare, it’s rejuvenating and refreshing. Water in many forms is a symbol for renewal, cleansing and in a way this couldn’t have come at a better time!!! Cleansing of bad past experiences and people and renewing of new friends ships (that have been in my life for years prior to the events) and a more positive me. So in a way I lead you astray and followed back up to my main topic. Thanks for your ears well really your eyes!
The audacity of some individuals
There comes a time in a person’s life where they decide to live for themselves and not the poison living off them. After a while you forget the pain and change and hurt of moving on. Yet you breathe easier and truly are happier inside and out. The only thing that still boggles my mind is how some people after months of doing someone wrong in the worst way think they have even a chance of coming back into someone life. It’s actually quite entertaining. Once again I don’t do names or specific people but this one person just is absolutely shameless and I can sit here and laugh now generally thinking how stupid was I to have been friends with such a horrible person for years.
To all my viewers and followers I thank you once again. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, events, and simply wonderful things the past few months but new adventures still await! I’m taking a gm position at a restaurant and will be moving on with my new life and a new last name shortly. I am going to post my short story soon. It’s in the process and quite longer than I expected but I enjoyed writing it and my voice in very specific. Some may find it entertaining and some might be frustrated. It’s a post modern feel with some allusions to history but all in all its realistic fantasy. No its not about vampires or zombies or alternate universes just a struggle in a young girls mind to get back to her own time and town.
I’m very excited to see feedback and continue reading your posts as well. Thank you for being my healthy outlet.
Can’t wait!
Sorry everyone it’s been quite a while. I’ve been through a whirlwind of events and emotions. I took a few trips and loved every second. I will be finishing my last year for my English degree then will be taking the cbes for subbing and I am so excited to move in with someone within the next few months. I came into three new job offers so no more struggling there. I hope every one is doing well this was just a tiny update. I will be back on due to the fact I have service now. I don’t own a computer or lap top or tablet so I’m strictly to my phone at the moment. I’m not sure if I mentioned before but I always apologize for grammar or spelling errors due to lack of editing on my part. But then again this is a raw blog. Each post is in the moment of that emotion, blockaiding that moment in time of inspiration. Even though every piece of my work is so subjective and can be deconstructed but I chose each word that I want and leave out any other word it could be. That’s the beauty of language. We all know what something is by what it’s not. It really blows your mind when you take a few moments (or a semester) to realize the life of binaries. I’ve truly been humbled the last few months and in that blessed is the same. I have a love whom will always be there for me. My best friend trav that will always be by my side. Cam and Kaleigh whom always know how to cheer me up and am excited about our future events. Soon I will be coming under a new name and I cannot wait. So here is to a new path and a better, healthier, happier, and thriving lifestyle. Thank you for tuning in and not forgetting about me. I had met forgot about any of you just needed to reevaluate life choices and be more concerned and discerned with making the right ones. Remove posion, include God in every day, listen to mentors, trust in love, and enjoy every second of life. Even though you may be going through a tough time, it will be a grain of sand when you get past it and always carry the thought that it isn’t that bad. Don’t live in emotion but of knowledge. So many tid bits but I’m so ecstatic to share this new life with you all. I have to thank you as well as a way of being my healthy outlet on my way to success and I hope all of you find that state of pure joy.
New start
Taking on a huge challenge but excited for the change. People I’ve walked away from are not in my future for a reason. They were posion and parasites. Any one who can not help you and push you to where you want to be or get to is because they don’t have a vison, they don’t understand yours and will never understand your decisions.
I’ve taken on a challenge and will complete it next June but will speak about that later. I’ve met the man I’m going to marry and cannot wait to go back with him to meet his parents after my birthday. All of the friends I’ve kept and actually care and aren’t backstabbing liars have made major changes in their lives and I couldn’t be more proud. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and I apologize deeply but I am here on my incline up the next small Hill to my next goal. I am excited for this next book in my life and exciting new Ventures.
It’s funny how…
It’s quite odd how life can be. Not odd in a bad way just unexpected but then again the only thing we all know about life is that events are unexpected. Just two days ago I was playing xbox and normally I have the same crew that I’ve been playing with for quite a while and one of them brought their girl friend. She was the world’s nicest person; we connected and have been really close. Yes, I know two days in but certain people give off love and a good ora/spirit so to speak. She is good people but We hit it off!
Just as a few months ago everything was falling apart now everything is building and building so quickly. I am just holding on for the ride and holding on as tight as I can.
Even though I had no luck with a restaurant that I applied two I have three options open but to have two new people in my life that are just absolutely incredible was a nice change of pace. It’s just funny how events and people come at exactly the right time.
All in all today has been amazing and that one person has brought me so much happiness. It’s just contagious. Keep in mind both of these people the girl does not live near me nor have I met her in person but just by kind words and good souls have touched my life and I’m excited to see where these friendships end up. Remember as I’ve mentioned before one cannot multiple and on the other side of a person may be a ton of blessings or despair but know that people are access gates to life. What you don’t appreciate will leave so take what you have and show appreciation any time you can even if to some people a simple
hello, I’ve been thinking about you
.
Or
Hey just wanted to tell you you’re amazing and I love who you are
.
Those simple lines may change a person’s days or week or a really long bad slope. Keep your heart open and your mind clear. Be quick to listen and slow to speak, hence why we only have one mouth and two ears. Thank you for your time.
Reading Experience
Recently I RE picked up Paradise Lost by Milton and I have to say that I was still as intilrigued as I was two years ago. I had started it in brit lit 428 but we had only got over books 1,2,3,7, and 9 and I have to say was very disappointing we didn’t go through the entire poem. Yes it’s a poem haha written in prose but it is absolutely brilliant. The history behind it is brilliant also but that’s a story in its own but I don’t want to touch on that. The first book (there are twelve books In the poem sorry for not clarifying earlier)Â is set after this cosmic war between angels and Satan is trying to make sense of what’s going on and the fallen angels are speaking on how to get back and each of their plans could work but Satan’s was most impacting.
The reason I enjoyed and learned so much from this poem is to step back and take each scenario into consideration from each view point. I love that this book gives Satan’s view, Eve’s view Adams and God’s. I am a faith walking individual and not saying I follow Satan but the fictitious character in this poem was ground breaking. It gave sympathy to a character whom individuals are suppose to automatically hate because of a name. This poem just ahhh there is so much to stay but what I was getting at is even Eve’s view opens people’s minds to a different side. There are many views to view a woman for example there is the Eva complex Eve complex and Madonna complex ect. But the Eva complex is this representation of sin and how she was at fault and hence why woman have pain while birthing and so on but this poem gives her side to sympathetic form. She was left out ill-informed and was swayed because information and inclusion was promised. If Adam had not done his job correctly then (hypothetically) the fall would not have happened.
There is divine order which is mentioned in the poem but also the Bible and in Christianity and catholicism, God >man(husband) >woman(wife) >kids (children)Â but what ended up happening was Adam received and asked questions from the angels while Eve was left alone and no communication. Adam was made to take care of the earth and his wife yet he excluded her from information.
Any person made to not be alone and is left alone they will seek attention and that’s exactly what happened she seeked attention in the wrong places. But then again the command was also given to Adam not to eat the fruit because of the divine order so due to Adams blind love he disobeyed. How is that Eve’s fault and that’s the question. When the poem was written the huge question at Melton’s time was if we were pre-destined meaning when or before an individual is born he or she is already set to go to heaven or hell. What the point was that no we are not. We were given creative will and that is why we chose our lives. Not to get into a bible study moment so I’ll stop here but if you want a challenging read pick it up an do you have questions ask I’d be more than happy to have conversations or book study with any one. Thank you for your time.
Change.
Change. One word can make or break someone. It really is a scary word or more of the fact the signifier that connects to the signified on that particular word. Change can hit a nation like a storm and bring people together or divide them. War is change, war is a great deal of change. It deconstructs individuals lives on a daily basis. The war within some one is also change. The battle field starts in one’s mind.
What I mean by this is that thoughts that are transcribed into words,language project a persons life. Speak good and continue to do good but speak destruction and that’s what follows. Change can sometimes be constructive. Constructive in that you may be taking something bad and trying to help recover or renew but then again nothing can change unless it has the will to. People have creative will and with that people chose to change or not. Making a mid course correction to better ones self or relationship may be necessary. But an individual making that change needs to do it for themself. Change in all can be scary like I mentioned before but always remember that without change there can’t be progress.
Have you wondered?
This is a funny phenomenon to me. Has any one that you’ve known or you yourself done or witnessed an argument with someone and then there was an interruption? Then that interruption paused the frustration and that individual that was hootin N hollerin turned into a civil person? This always makes me giggle. People are so tricky and they have the ability to control their emotions and actions.
As humans we try to stay people’s minds to avoid the inevitable truth. Instead of owning up to our wrongs people try to twist others words but what gives that away is its not on the person who caught them it’s the individuals conscious screaming saying
just tell them
but no it stays hidden and that individuals heart hardens and when it is brought up they are the first to jump at any ones throat. It is also the same when someone talks about someone to another individual. For example two women are talking and another person is brought up. The first lady starts talking about what she did and how she did it and what happened after. What she doesn’t know is that it doesn’t speak about that person she is taking about it speaks about her heart and how hard it is. I urge all of us even myself that during the day when something negative comes to mind just say how beautiful the day is or how that person’s talents may help people.
I sometimes have to step back and take the blackness out of my heart and just be thankful that I am here for another day and try to spread as much happiness and love that I can.
A Blog that's not a Blog 